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Jeremy bought Asher his first glove.  I’ll probably never get rid of this glove.  It’s adorable, and I love that we can start playing catch with him.  Jeremy and I were both tossing the ball around with Asher, and he probably caught the ball about 10% of the time, but he didn’t want to stop trying.  His throwing though, holy smokes, I think we have an outfielder on our hands…is that a compliment, ha!  I meant it to be :).

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”  James 1:12

Jeremy emailed this verse to me a few weeks ago, and I’ve pulled it up so often just to read through it and let it sink in.

The 25th.  The 25th was a little hard to see on the calendar this month.  He would have been two months old this week.  And, instead of being able to hug and kiss his little body, and write a post about him being two months old, Jeremy and I needed to decide what we wanted to write on his gravestone.  This is an awfully painful thing to do.  And, last week the funeral home called to tell us that Paxon’s death certificate is ready for us to pick up.  I’m not looking forward to that for obvious reasons, and may put that off for another week.  New insurance cards with Paxon’s name on them.  Insensitive medical bill collector people.  The number eleven.  The number four.  Baby owls.  So many reminders.  I don’t mind reminders and thinking about him.  I just miss him.

I’m not sure if I’m being too open in sharing this.  We just have so many people asking us how we’re doing, and praying for our family, that I thought I would ask you to keep praying for us.  We’re still grieving the loss of our son.  I guess we probably will be for awhile.  I’m not sure how someone “gets over” losing their child.  And, to be honest, I’m not sure I want to…or I’m scared to…I always want his life to matter and be remembered.

My friend, Krista, shared this article with me and I thought I would post it here for others to read.  It was good for me to read, because it really put words to the emotions I’m feeling and made me feel normal.  Please don’t read this and think that you need to do anything me.  That really, truly is not my intention.  I just know it’s hard to find the words or know what to do for someone in this situation, and I feel like I’m honoring Paxon’s life by passing this along.  Hopefully it helps someone to know how to better love a friend through this all.

How to Help a Friend Who is Grieving

Our family also lost an incredible man this month.  Grandpa Hoverson.  Jeremy’s Grandpa went to be with the Lord on February 13th, and we will miss him more than I can explain in this post.  Grandpa left a beautiful legacy, and impacted more lives than he knew while he was here on earth.  He showed us how to love people, and how to live a life in service to God. The memories and the stories that each of us have with Grandpa will last forever.  He truly was a wonderful man, and so very special to our family.  We love you, Grandpa Hoverson!